


Don't Know Much 'Bout Anything...

by The_Whistler



Category: Steam Powered Giraffe
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-31
Updated: 2013-07-31
Packaged: 2017-12-21 23:40:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/906315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Whistler/pseuds/The_Whistler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jon was always happy performing with his brothers...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Know Much 'Bout Anything...

**Author's Note:**

> Let's be clear right up front... this is about the fictional characters created by the band. It was inspired by reality... some observations I made on their old videos, but this is pure fiction, a few thoughts superimposed on the fanon. Let's not have any debates here. I'm a cloudcuckoolander myself (see TVtropes.com for a definition... Jon is one of those). I like it peaceful and fun. People can hurt in stories. Stories end.

The Jon had always been away with the fairies... off in a little... or perhaps not so little... world all his own. They had to remind him about the time despite his sophisticated internal clock. They had to remind him to drink despite his network of sensors and gauges. They had to remind him where he was despite his new GPS. He was like a child and an old man all at once, like the Ghost of Yulemas Past, always somewhere near but hard to pin down.

But he loved performing, and never missed a show. For decades, he was the one counting the minutes until each show, always wanting to be the first on stage, waving and smiling. Even though their careers hit a lull in the 70's, he still tried to get them all out into the park on Saturdays even when gigs were scarce. They made a little money busking, but that wasn't why Jon did it. He just liked making people smile.

So when things picked up for the band after the turn of the millenium, everyone was comfortable in knowing that, along with the other good things that came of it, The Jon would have what he most wanted. Jon would get to make people smile.

But it's hard to see them smiling beyond the brightness of the footlights.

 

Peter Walter V came upon Jon one afternoon in the library. Jon was leaning over an old scrapbook.

"Hey, old man," said Peter. "Whatcha got there?"

"Pictures," Jon murmured. "From the park."

There were photos of the band performing with just a few people, cozy little crowds, or larger ones ranged over the grass on picnic blankets. All were smiling at the songs and jokes going on in front of them, but Jon's smile was the biggest of all.

"You like performing in the park, hey, Jon?"

"Uh-huh." Jon sniffled and wiped a sleeve across his eyes.

"What is it, old man? Something's been troubling you this whole summer. We've all noticed."

"Noticed what?" Jon asked softly, turning the page.

"You keep turning up late to shows. You miss your cues. You're just... well, I realize this is nothing new, but... you're just not here, Jon."

"Uh-huh."

"So what's the deal?"

"You'll be mad..."

"Who me?"

"Well... Spine an' Rabbit'll be mad."

"At you? Well, we don't have to tell them."

"Maybe..." He sighed. "I don't wanna do concerts anymore."

"Jon... I'm surprised. I thought you loved performing!"

"I do!" Jon snuffled. "Just not concerts."

Peter V stared at the little robot. "I'm sorry. I'm not following."

"I like other performances. I like being right next to the people and playing with them while we perform. I can see them smile an' laugh and be happy because of us. Sometimes they're funny, too!" He giggled. "Like that baby who thought I farted that one time when she heard my hydraulics hissing!* That made Rabbit laugh. I even saw Spine tryin' not to smile. That was great! And I like tryin' to get them to dance with me. The men hardly ever do it, though..." He looked puzzled.

Peter V smiled. They never had been able to explain that to The Jon.

"Well, old man... I don't know what to say. Your brothers are happier than ever. They're working again, no one is asking them to fight wars, and the songs you've all come up with lately are some of the best you've done. People even love the old ones. That's making people smile."

"Uh-huh..."

"The Spine has women swooning every time he loosens a button... Rabbit can do the same thing with a swing of his hips... and that little tweak I gave to him and Rabbit a couple of years ago has increased their vocal range. The crowds go crazy when they walk out on stage... same as with you and Michael..."

He stopped. Jon was knuckling his eyes like a child.

"That's it, isn't it?"

"We're like rock stars! Rock stars aren't happy! They have guards an' stay away from the people an' get lonely an' die from taking drugs an' stuff!"

Peter V laughed gently. "Oh, come now, old man. _You_ can't die of a drug overdose." He sighed. "But you're not wrong... at concerts, anyway. It is a lot flashier than the park performances. Maybe we can set up some more busking gigs..."

"No!"

"Jon?"

"It won't be the same now. We make girls cry 'cause they know us. I wanna go somewhere where nobody knows me an' make them smile."

Peter V wrestled with his conscience for a solid minute before saying, "Well, you know Sam is leaving after the zoo gig is done..."

"Yeah..." Jon sniffled at the mention of this.

"He was planning to travel. Upgrade asked to go along..."

"Yeah, so they're leaving. That doesn't help!"

"Well... maybe you'd like to go, too?"

There, he'd done it. He hoped Sam wouldn't wring his neck.

Jon brightened. "Yeah! That would be great!" His face dimmed. "But... what about the others? They won't be able to have a band anymore!"

"Well, that was why I came to see you, old man. Peter thinks he can repair your brother."

Jon's eyes widened. "Hatchy?" he whispered. "Is he doing it now? I wanna see Hatchy again!"

"He's working on him, yes."

"Do you think he can do it?"

Peter V nodded. "You know Peter," he said proudly. "Most brilliant Walter since your Pappy."

Jon nodded vigorously. "Pappy was a genius!"

Peter V looked at Jon, his beaming face, articulate movements, childlike and wise all at once, and smiled. "He would have to have been. So...  we were going to program him to play drums, but maybe we can... hm... Well, instead, we can program him to play some guitar, maybe bass. The Spine is always itching to get his hands on that six-string, so, yeah. Bass. And as I recall, he already sang..."

"Yeah, he just did it because we did! But... he loved makin' sammiches! He even sang when he did that."

"Well, he can still make them. Just not on stage." He winked.

"Hatchy wouldn't mind being away from the people a little bit after that one party with the badgers..."

"Hm, yes. And we can hire a drummer. I think there's enough money for that now. We made some good contacts at the zoo this summer. Good enough?"

Jon grinned. "Then let's do that! I wanna tell everybody!" He jumped up and ran out.

"Jon!"

Oops. Well, maybe they'd take it better from Jon... Peter got to his feet and followed the little brass robot, pondering some personality modifications for Upgrade. If Jon was going along, too, Sam was going to need a lot of help!

**Author's Note:**

> *almost forgot to add this... for those who missed this video, it was a real park performance, and the whole video is cute, like most of theirs.
> 
> "Who Is Steam Powered Giraffe"  
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDqSPepYv6o
> 
> Edit: The video has been made private without notice and he won't answer questions about it. :(
> 
> Update! Good news, someone else had a copy and put it back up, and hopefully it'll stay. Might wanna make your own copy if you know how:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9wvYeHO3cE


End file.
